Monday, February 9, 2009

just meeeee...

hey!
back again!!
well..
2day it just popped in my mind how my old self n i'm now are so much differ..

me in bkk until form 5:
I was more to a loner, depressed girl..
well, i was also suicidal.
its reasonable because of the fam probs that i have..
u see..
when they have problems, it always invloves the kids too..
since when i was in bangkok, i was along bcuz my big brother was in malaysia..and my small bro was... u noe... small.
i was thinking of jumping of the 15th floor.. but i just never have the guts to.
i was also a wild kid..
i would do bad stuffs behind my parent's back, but i'm x that wild.
at the age 0f 11..
i've seen ppl french kissing infront of me, my friends,danny and theresa..
n for me,hugging is normal.. kissing on the cheek is normal..
i've tried smoking..
i've tasted alcohol..
i've ate pork..
but i figured that it allvtastes so bad that i had to throw up..
........................................................................................................................................................................

in form 5. i had my first love..
I found bestfriends that lasts till now..
i was frustated..
crushed, n at that time i had my spm,n ma parent fought so bad..
i thought of killing myself..
i thought that if i kill myself, evrything will be o0kay..
but they dont...
..................................................................................................................................................................
me.. now..
i am now trying to change myself..
i started wearing tudung last 2 yrs..
i am trying to start to pray..
i have met great friends who could help me..
wawa n are2 n aina.
they all are awesome...
they help me thru many things..
they made me realize that my problem is x da worse thing that could happen.
i have a friend who have a dark memories who only few ppl knew..
i'm glad that i met someone who has the same experience as me..
now?
i dont blieve in best friends because i had so many backstabbers in my life..
i just call a close fren..
i wish i could have a bestfriend who i can laugh n cry with.
who i could say anything.,.
who could accept me.. n x my hyprocrite part..
who could accept me without giving those looks that many ppl gave.
who wouldnt talk behind my back../
urghhhh..

2 comments:

Addina said...

sara! i know i takuuut at that time. anyway, i so admire ur courage for wanting to change. And we both have the same people we look up too! we admire are2. she's the one who keeps me on the right track.keep trying to change.fighting! :)

maiya said...

yes2!
she's da best la utk look up to..
hehe!
fighting fighting!
u dun let fayfay cum oout!
hehe..